Yesterday morning, Ro-Ro and I were driving along in our car and chatting about how warm and sunny it was outside.
“The sun’s really yellow today,” Ro-Ro commented. “And it’s kinda warm outside!”
“Yes, it is!” I agreed, sounding especially perky. You can’t help but feel happy and carefree when the last of the snow has melted away and Spring has clearly sprung.
“But there’s no leaves on the trees anywhere,” he observed.
“Nope, not yet. But there will be soon. The buds on the trees have just started to open,” I told him.
He nodded in approval as he gazed out his car window.
We pulled up to a traffic light and I rolled to a stop as it turned red.
“There’s a happy guy, Mommy!” Ro-Ro yelled out, as he pointed his finger out of the window and in the direction of the sidewalk next to our car.
And there, sure enough, was a very happy looking fellow. He had just rounded the corner and was walking past our car. A massive grin was spread across his face and he literally looked like he was glowing from the inside out. Clearly, someone was having a very good day, indeed. Or his meds had just kicked in. One or the other.
“Yup, Ro, that’s definitely one happy looking guy.”
“Maybe he got a really good snack this morning, like a brownie or something. I really like brownies.”
“I know you do, Ro.” Something told me that he was trying to drop a subtle hint.
We both sat there staring at the happy-go-lucky guy bouncing down the street as we waited for the light to turn green.
And then one of the strangest, most bizarre things that I have ever seen took place, right there on a downtown Calgary street in broad daylight during the lunch hour rush for absolutely everyone to see.
As the man walked along the street, smiling from ear to ear and looking like he didn’t have a worry in the world, he took out his cell phone from his pocket and tossed it up into the air. What a show-off, I thought to myself as I watched the phone flip twice in the air. What’s the point in tossing your phone up like that? These devices aren’t cheap, you know. I wouldn’t walk around being reckless. But then again, maybe he just won the lottery and doesn’t really care. Maybe Mr. Happy is about to go buy some high-tech, state-of-the-art cell phone that will be able to organize his calendar, file his taxes, phone his mother, do his laundry, change the oil in his car, and cook him a gourmet dinner without even needing an extra charge. Technology these days, eh?
As the phone fell back down towards him, Mr. Happy reached out his hand to catch the phone. But instead of catching the phone in his hand and proving how talented he is to everyone around him, he completely missed it and the phone went crashing to the ground.
Mr. Happy stopped in the center of the sidewalk and stared down at his phone. The smile disappeared from his face. He knelt down, picked up the phone, stood back up, and then threw the phone as hard as he could down the sidewalk. He then ran down to where the phone had landed and began stomping on it repeatedly with his foot.
He stopped for a moment, looked down at the phone, and then began stomping on it with his other foot.
My mouth dropped open and I sat there in shock, watching this grown man having a complete temper tantrum in the middle of the street. Mr. Happy was no longer so happy. And maybe he hadn’t won the lottery after all.
After he had stomped on his phone about a dozen times, the man picked it up again and looked at it. It looked as though he was now yelling at the smashed phone. Oh, that’s mature, I thought to myself.
I looked in my rear view mirror and Ro-Ro was also staring at this man. His crystal blue eyes were stretched wide open and I wondered if he’d even bothered to blink. He probably didn’t want to miss any of the action.
“What’s wrong with that guy?!” Ro-Ro asked me.
“I think he’s pretty mad that he dropped his cell phone,” I explained.
“But why is he throwing it like that again?” Ro-Ro asked.
I looked over and Mr. Happy had once again thrown his phone down the sidewalk and was running towards it. Ro-Ro and I craned our necks to the side to see what the strange man was going to do next. The car behind us honked their horn at me. The traffic light had just turned green, but I couldn’t move just yet. I had to see what Mr. Happy was going to do next.
Sure enough, he began stomping on his phone over and over again. This time he even threw in a few double-footed jumps for added affect. Something told me that this guy needed some anger management courses immediately.
I shook my head in disbelief and began driving through the intersection before the driver behind us had his own little temper tantrum.
I looked in my side mirror and could see Mr. Happy picking up his phone again. He was probably yelling at it again, but we didn’t need to stick around and watch.
“That guy is a bad, bad boy,” Ro-Ro said, shaking his head from side to side.
“Yes, he is,” I agreed.
“That’s not how you’re supposed to treat your toys! You’re not supposed to throw them and stand on them like that! That’s how they get BROKEN. Someone needs to tell him not to break his toys,” Ro-Ro lectured. My three-year old is officially much smarter and much more reasonable than Mr. Happy.
“I agree, Ro. I totally agree.”
“Well,” he said as he folded his arms and let out an exasperated sigh. “That guy needs to go right on the naughty step for a LONG time. Like twenty-teen minutes or something.”
I’m not sure how long ‘twenty-teen’ minutes is, but it sounds like a really, really long time.
I smiled and kept on driving. The next time Ro-Ro has a meltdown because I put his milk in the red cup, rather than the blue cup, even though he told me twice that he wanted his milk in the red cup, I’ll remind him about Mr. Happy and his ginormous temper tantrum. I’ll use that as an example of how epic temper tantrums will get you nowhere in life (other than put on the naughty step, of course) and how they definitely won’t bring your cell phone back to life (or convince your mother to pour your milk into the blue cup instead, for that matter).
And for the record, who throws their cell phone up in the air like that anyway?!!!